4
Death - sharing prayers of love with those who are bereaved
Sharing Friendship 30
minutes
As people arrive light refreshments are served. This week’s ‘table ornament’ as a focus for reflection and prayer is a
bowl of perfumed wipes. Place the bowl
on the table among the refreshments. It
will be helpful to have a low table in the middle of the room, or at some
appropriate focal point, where the bowl
can be placed as the second part of the session begins.
Once the group is settled and everyone has arrived
gather the group together and begin to focus the conversation a little more.
·
go round the circle and invite each person
to recall some of the things that they have been doing over the last week, and
share anything special that has happened.
·
go round the circle a second time and
invite people to recall anything they have done in the last week in response to
the thoughts and prayers that were shared last week.
Sharing Reflections on the
Bible 30
minutes
Take the bowl of perfumed wipes and place it on the
table in the middle of the circle.
Sharing with one another in times of
bereavement is a central part of what we do in the family of the
church. It has been from the very first.
Read Romans 12:9-15
Rejoice with those
who rejoice.
Weep with those
who weep.
When he heard of
the death of his friend Lazarus Jesus wept.
They were not
crocodile tears. They were the tears of
one who knew what it was like to weep with those who weep.
The story of Jesus
and Lazarus is often told in such a way as to focus on the raising of
Lazarus. Indeed, it is usually known as
‘The Raising of Lazarus’. Today we are
focusing our thoughts on prayer in bereavement and so we are going to focus on
the middle part of the story - the part which tells of Jesus’ relationship with
the two sisters of Lazarus, Martha and Mary, in their time of bereavement.
Read John 11:1-37
John 11:1-37 lends itself to a dramatised reading; it
also lends itself to being ‘told’ by a ‘story-teller’. Our focus today is on the way Jesus shared
with the two sisters in their bereavement.
It may be best to re-tell the story in verses 1-16 and then read verses
17-37. Alternatively do a dramatised
reading of the whole passage. If you
have a story-teller who ‘re-tells’ the story make sure you keep close to the
dialogue in verses 17-35.
Let’s focus very
closely on the way Jesus shares first with Martha and then with Mary in their
experience of bereavement. Do you notice
any things which accord with your own experience of bereavement? Do you notice any things which accord with
the experience of bereavement that you have shared with other people or others
have had?
The theme this evening calls for a great deal of
sensitivity on the part of the leader of the group. It is the kind of theme which will touch some
people very deeply. It is the kind of theme that can only be addressed at this
kind of stage in a course, once the group is coming together and has an
understanding and a feeling for each other.
Allow the group simply to share their responses to
these questions - as leader you might look out for some of these points ...
Points to look out for in John 11:17-37
· the way friends and neighbours come to
comfort the two sisters [19]
· the way Martha wants to talk to Jesus ...
and looks him out ... and Jesus’ willingness to talk with her [20-27]
· the way Mary is over-wrought by weeping ...
and the way Jesus doesn’t burden her with words but finds himself overwhelmed
and weeps with her [33-35]
· the longing and the bargaining both Martha
and Mary enter into - if only you’d been here this would not have happened [21
and 32].
· the hope of resurrection Jesus offers
[25-26]
· the faith that Jesus prompts within
Martha’s heart [26-27]
· the way some of the friends and neighbours
are simply moved by Jesus’ love [36] whereas others are still at the stage of
bargaining [36].
Allow a good period of time sharing reflections on
this passage. Then invite the group to
share experiences of bereavement, things that have helped them, and people and
organisations they have found helpful. This calls for sensitivity on the part of
the leader and the group - it is only at this stage in a course when the
members of a group have confidence in one another that this kind of sharing can
be fruitful. It would be helpful to have information
about the way your church offers support in bereavement, and about other
organisations like Cruse and Winston’s Wish which offer support in bereavement.
Sharing Prayer 30 minutes
Play some quiet, reflective music. Make sure that the bowl of perfumed wipes is
on the table in the centre of the circle, or in some appropriate place.
Jesus himself made
a painful journey to his own death on a cross.
On the way there were people who helped him.
Simon of Cyrene
carried his cross.
Mary, the mother
of Jesus, stayed as close to him as she could.
The women of
Jerusalem wept for him.
Tradition has it
that one woman, Veronica, stepped forward and wiped his brow. Her act of loving kindness is remembered by
all who share in the Stations of the Cross.
As we share prayer
in bereavement and come alongside each other in the bereavement we experience
let’s remember the way of the cross taken by Jesus and the grief he shared with
us, the grief he continues to share.
Play the sequence at the end of part three of Jesus for Today, the first programme on
the Video, Jesus: today, tomorrow,
forever? which depicts the stations
of the cross.
Pause for a moment of quiet reflection.
Take the bowl of perfumed wipes in your hands.
A woman in the
crowd stepped forward to wipe his brow.
In a moment we
shall pass this bowl of perfumed wipes around the circle. As you receive the bowl take that as an
opportunity to put into words a prayer for someone you know who is facing a
time of sadness or bereavement. If you
would rather simply share the silence of prayer hold the bowl for a moment or
two and then pass it on.
As the bowl is passed around the circle each person
has the opportunity to share a prayer.
When the bowl has completed the circle once more take
it in your hands.
A woman in the
crowd stepped forward to wipe his brow.
Tradition has
given that woman a name.
Veronica.
As you receive the
bowl take look at the person next to you, say ‘Peace be with you,’ and name them.
Then take a perfumed wipe and wipe their brow. Keep the wipe you have used in your hands as
the bowl is passed around the circle and we all share in quiet prayer together.
Look at the person next to you, say, ‘Peace be with you,’ and name
them. Wipe their brow, and then pass the
bowl to them. The last person in the
circle will wipe your brow and pass the bowl to you.
Once more we shall
pass the bowl around our circle. This
time we shall focus our prayers on those who help others in their
bereavement. Remember those who share pastoral
care in your own church, remember those who work in hospice care, those who
belong to organisations like Cruse who work primarily with adults and Winston’s
Wish who work primarily with children who are bereaved. As you receive the bowl place your used wipe
back in the bowl and then as you hold the bowl in your hands take the
opportunity to share words of prayer for those who help others in their
bereavement ... or simply share a moment or two of silence in prayer ... and
then pass the bowl on.
The bowl is passed around the circle as prayers are
shared for those who help others in their bereavement.
The experience of
bereavement can itself be like a journey.
It is a journey
that takes us through many mixed up
emotions - of shock and denial, of guilt and bargaining, of anger and
bitterness, of sadness and grief.
Today’s prayer meditation was put together by a group which included the
Rev Glyn Jenkins who played the part of Caiaphas in the Passion Play, and has
been involved in a pastoral ministry for many years and by Dr John Lyle who
played the part of the disciple John at the foot of the cross, and who is the
GP linked with the Sue Ryder Home, Cheltenham’s hospice. It is read by Wendy Dawson who played the
part of Mary the mother of Jesus, and who tells of her own experience of
bereavement most movingly in Jesus for Today.
All had shared in different ways in this grieving process.
Play the fourth prayer meditation, Death, from Jesus forever the same on the Video Jesus: today, tomorrow, forever?
Pause for a moment of quiet reflection.
Read Psalm 23
- you may prefer to use the words of the
Authorised Version.
Are they the
scales of justice, badly out of balance?
Or is it a cross?
Is it a cross
weighed down by the burdens of injustice?
As we see this
cross may it remind us that
Jesus calls us to
follow in the way of the cross
to rejoice with
those who rejoice and
to weep with those
who weep.
Say The Grace together.
After a short pause, play some quiet music once
more. Have copies of the prayer
meditation Death ready for people to
take home.
